MLS Champions Are Champions Too
Yesterday the MLS champion Houston Dynamo paid a visit to the White House. I’m sure President Bush had a great time hanging out with a bunch of athletes he never heard of—it was probably one of the more awkward moments in White House history (not counting the entire Clinton presidency). In fact, I imagine Bush’s morning went something like this:
Bush: What’s for lunch today?
Advisor: Actually, you’re meeting with the Major League Soccer champions before we eat.
Bush: What? Why do I have to meet with a team from another country?
Advisor: They’re the champions of America’s soccer league.
Bush: We have a soccer league now? I knew we should have invaded France before their weak and surrenderous culture made it over here. Will I at least get to meet that handsome David Beckam?
Advisor: Um…no. But you will get to meet Brian Ching.
Bush: I thought Tuesday was my “no foreign policy” day.
Advisor: He’s American.
(Bush goes out to meet the team)
Bush: Congratulations Dynamos of Texas!!
Brian Ching: I could have made four times as much money playing in Europe, but this makes it all worthwhile.
Bush: So do any of you guys know Nolan Ryan? Now that guy was a great Texas athlete.
Craig Waibel: You sound just like my dad. All I ever heard growing up was “Why can’t you be like Nolan Ryan? Why can’t you play baseball or basketball like the other kids? Why am I the only dad with a hopeless soccer playing bum for a son.” Well, Nolan Ryan can go to hell. I’m at the White House now.
Bush: Have you guys heard what’s for lunch today?
Dwayne De Rosario: May we take some pictures with you. Some of my Canadian countrymen just got Photoshop and…well…never mind. Let’s just take some pictures.
Bush: I’d rather not. If our enemies in the Middle East see me with, you know, “futbol players”, then the terrorists win.
(photographer takes photos)
Bush: Oh, I see you don’t listen me. Who are you, a member of Congress?
Ryan Cochrane: Can we meet Barack Obama? That guy is the man.
Zach Wells: I’d even settle for John Kerry at this point.
Advisor: Mr. President, come here. I’ve just received word that today’s lunch is prime rib.
Bush: Ok Texas Dynamics, thank you all very much for coming, but if you’ll excuse me I have some important business to attend to.
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