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The Premier League can be a tricky place to do business. This week it seemed Chelsea was all set to add Brazilian defender Alex. The team had reached a transfer agreement to acquire him from PSV Eindhoven, and the only thing left was for Alex to fly to London and work out the personal terms of his contract. That final step would prove to be problematic.

Chelsea’s proposed transfer of Alex was thrown into chaos after the defender became so fed up with being questioned by immigration officials that he got on a plane back to his native Brazil. The defender spent about four hours being questioned at Heathrow [Airport] on Sunday after he told officials that he had arrived to join Chelsea.

I’ll be honest—what Alex did is pretty impressive. To be so stubborn that you’re willing to fly half way across the county and then fly all the way back because you don’t like how you’re being treated—that takes cojones. Americans should be thankful that their airport security workers are lazier than DMV employees, otherwise a similar complication could have quashed the David Beckham deal.

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The Super Bowl is still six months away, but it’s never to early for the big time Super Bowl parties to start their planning. Sports Illustrated, Maxim, Playboy, Penthouse, and ESPN already have locations lined up to host their parties.

But wait, there’s more. Matt Leinart is also hosting a Super Bowl party and he has an extremely random co-host.

Vertical Sports will be staging two of the week’s higher-profile fetes at Galleria Corporate Center in downtown Scottsdale. [John] Travolta and Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart team up to host Saturday Night Spectacular, while Electra and other beauties will welcome guests at the fifth annual Leather & Laces party. Both are charity events.

That’s right. Matt Leinart is co-hosting a Super Bowl party with John Travolta. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

Ok, there are two questions that immediately come to mind. First, one would think Leinart should not be planning on hosting a party the week before the Super bowl—you know, just in case the Cardinals make it to the big game. Obviously Leinart wouldn’t be involved in the party if the Cardinals actually have a game to prepare for, but the fact that he is planning on hosting an event the week before the Super Bowl might not instill great confidence in his teammates.

Second, and most importantly, how in the world did Travolta end up as Leinart’s co-host? Was Kevin Costner unavailable? Did Dustin Hoffman already agree to host a different party?

I’m not an expert on the L.A. celebrity social scene, but it seems to me like Travolta isn’t really a part of the Leinart–Nick Lachey–Paris Hilton–Tara Reid party scene. My guess is that Leinart’s publicist was drunk one night and thought it would be funny to call Travolta’s agent and tell him Leinart wanted to Travolta to co-host his party. One thing led to another and eventually it became a done deal.

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Cal Ripken Jr. is now in the Hall of Fame, but one of the most important heirlooms from his storied career is not. The ball that was the final out of the 5th inning in game #2131 is in the possession of Rex Hudler, the former Angels outfielder who made the grab that sealed Ripken’s place in history. Unfortunately, Hudler has not been the best caretaker for the ball.

In his Orange County home, Hudler was showing the ball to some friends and left it unattended on a living-room table. His daughter, Alyssa, then 2, found a Sharpie and scribbled over half of the precious souvenir.

“I was just blown away,” said Hudler, now an Angels broadcaster. “That’s the most important baseball I’ll ever have.”

Hudler did eventually find somebody to write on the other half of the ball.

A few years later, Hudler, who was doing some postseason commentating for “Good Morning America,” asked Ripken, who today will be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., to sign the ball.

Hudler explained how his daughter defaced the ball, so Ripken signed the other side of it with this message: “Hud, what a catch, it must have been right at you.”

It’s a shame that had to happen to Ripken’s ball, but it’s given me an idea. If a rabid Bonds hater ends up with home run #756 and doesn’t know what to do with it, he should just scribble a profanity laced steroid-themed tirade on it and then donate it to the Hall of Fame on the condition that the writing not be washed off.

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Livan Hernandez’s ever expanding waistline will not be leaving major league baseball anytime soon. Hernandez says he would like to play 10 more years and break Luis Tiant’s major league record for wins by a Cuban pitcher. Right now Hernandez has 129 victories, 100 fewer than Tiant.

In 10 years Hernandez will be 42, but like his brother El Duque, he may be a little bit older than he claims to be. That means Hernandez could still be pitching well into his early to mid-forties before he finally hangs up his cleats. It will be just like he’s Roger Clemens, only he’ll show up to all his teams’ games.

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There was some sad news out of the Seattle area over the weekend—2005 World Strongest Man runner up Jesse Marunde died of heart failure while working out at his gym. Thanks to ESPN2, Marunde became a regular companion of mine between 2 a.m-4 a.m on those endless nights in the summer of 2006. He will be missed.

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–Michael Vick’s statement was clearly not written by him. [Awful Announcing]

–The Dodgers are taking a not-so-subtle jab at Barry Bonds. [100% Injury Rate]

–The Redskins starting quarterback can’t beat his girlfriend in bowling. [Baltimore Sun]

–There’s a new website that hopes to stop Barry Bonds. [Our Book of Scrap]

–This might be the end for Rod Smith. [Denver Post]

–This man is not winning diving medals any time soon. [Deuce of Davenport]

–Are newspapers creating problems by printing betting lines? [L.A. Times]

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The IRS is investigating Yankees traveling secretary David Szen in relation to his personal taxes. Although the investigation does not involve the Yankees, the team has granted Szen administrative leave to deal with the issue. Does that mean a promotion for the assistant to the traveling secretary? Will the Yankees new traveling secretary be this man?

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Guess what, Baltimore residents? Comcast has found another way to piss you off besides raising rates without notice and providing high speed internet that drops more than Terrell Owens. This weekend they’re not going to let some of you watch Cal Ripken Jr’s Hall of Fame induction.

The disregard for Ripken fans stems from Comcast’s decision earlier this month to move ESPN Classic from basic cable to digital cable in Baltimore and it’s surrounding areas. The move means that the 33% of Baltimore Comcast customers without digital cable can no longer see the channel. During any other month in any other year it probably wouldn’t be a big deal, but on Sunday ESPN Classic has the exclusive rights to the Hall of Fame induction festivities.

Comcast says they made the switch to increase high-definition and on-demand programming, which is a valid reason, but perhaps they should have waited three weeks until after they aired the only program in the history of ESPN Classic that Baltimore residents are dying to see. Also, let’s not forget the real victims here—the poor Comcast employees who are going to have to answer throngs of angry phone calls from elderly and semi-senile Baltimore residents.

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(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)

Dmitri Young in on the verge of signing a 2 year, $10 million extension with the Washington Nationals. Once Young signs the extension the team will get to work on signing a 2 year extension with McDonald’s to provide Young’s special post-game buffet.

In light of the accusations against referee Tim Donaghy, the ACC announced that over the last year it has performed background checks on officials for three different sports. The league found that with the exception of the standard cheating for Duke basketball, none of the officials have ever done anything to raise a red flag.

Ted Ginn Jr., the 9th overall pick in the NFL draft, has finally agreed to terms with the Dolphins. The reason it took Ginn so long to sign was that his agent had to do extensive research to confirm that the Dolphins had in fact been dumb enough to select Ginn with the 9th pick.

Nearly a year after being diagnosed with cancer, Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester returned to the mound and pitched the Red Sox to a 6-2 victory. Lester says that he found motivation in a hand written note he received from fellow cancer survivor Lance Armstrong. Apparently Lester felt that if Armstrong could do something as improbable as win seven Tour De France’s without being caught doping his blood, then there was no reason he couldn’t beat cancer.

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Ah…Brazil. It’s a wondrous South American country that knows a thing or two about bikini models and soccer superstars. Still, there are some things it apparently does not know about. Things such as fan etiquette.

During the Pan-Am Games in Rio De Janeiro last week, many of the foreign fans and athletes were appalled by the behavior of the Brazilian crowd. The crowd’s hometown hospitality included cheering each of the three times a 14 year-old Canadian gymnast fell of the balance beam, and trying to distract a trapshooter in order to help her Brazilian opponent. Apparently none of that is out of the ordinary for a Brazilian sporting event.

“That’s Brazil’s way,” said basketball legend Oscar Schmidt, who himself ruthlessly led the jeering at the gymnastics.

Clearly Brazilians think of themselves as a tough fans, but I don’t really think their spectating prowess can be acknowledged until some of them get punched in the face by a member of the Indiana Pacers.

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