Joe Namath. Chad Johnson. The Boise Burn. They’re nothing compared to the Arizona Rattlers. The Rattlers, who went 4-12 in the Arena League last season, are guaranteeing that they will make the playoffs this season. If they don’t, the team has promised to refund every season ticket, a move that could cost them over $2 million. For whatever reason, managing partner Brett Bouchy seems unconcerned about the move backfiring.
“If in fact it does happen, I don’t think it’s a terrible thing. How bad would it be? It’s for essentially a year. We hope to bring people back to buy season tickets for next year. It still would be a cash loss for us. It is a risk. But it’s a risk we’re fully aware of.”
There’s nothing like winning over fans by demonstrating a complete lack of fiscal responsibility—it’s a strategy that seems to have worked for the Red Sox and the Yankees.
Here’s my question. If the Rattlers need a win on the last day of the season to make the playoffs (but have no chance of winning a playoff game) do you root against them so you can get your $250 back? That’s a tough decision if you’re not a die-hard fan. The correct answer is that you don’t root against them. Instead you place a $250 bet on the Rattlers to win—that way instead of being even if they win and up $250 if they lose, you’re even if they lose and up $250 if they win. With one cleverly placed wager you’ve ruined the rooting conflict. Isn’t gambling great?
When it’s been five years since you last made the playoffs, it takes some outside-the-box thinking to generate fan interest. Fortunately for the Phoenix Coyotes, Wayne Gretzky has an iTunes playlist.
The team has launched “Coyotes Trax“—a section of the team’s website where fans can view the iTunes playlists of Greztky, winger Shane Doan, goaltending coach Grant Fuhr, broadcaster Todd Walsh, and the Coyotes dance team.
If you’re wondering whether Grant Fuhr has a playlist full of hip-hop, the answer is no. And shame on your for stereotyping one of hockey’s most famous black players. Fuhr’s playlist includes some older tunes from the likes of Bob Dylan, Nirvana, and the Smashing Pumpkins.
In case you’re interested, Gretzky’s playlist features a good deal of Nickelback, a couple Nelly Furtado tunes, and a Sarah McLachlan song. Surprisingly, it doesn’t include Nickelback’s 2006 hit, “My Wife is an Insane Gambler.”
Before the Sonics season kicks off I just want to reiterate, on record, that I do not think Kevin Durant will become a championship ring toting mega-star. For some specific reasons why, read this, and remember it when Durant becomes Keith Van Horn with more blocked shots.
And now, some other quickie NBA thoughts…
–I don’t know why some people (mostly you, John Hollinger) don’t think the Wizards will be one of the best teams in the conference. Before their three best players missed significant time with injuries last year, they were the best team in the conference. Sure, a good deal of their season is riding on whether Andray Blatche has a breakout year, but I think he will. Even if he doesn’t the Wizards have been good the last three years without any sort of competent big man and they should be able to do it again. They also have Dominic McGuire. Remember that name. If he gets the playing time he will be one of the NBA’s five best rookies.
–The Knicks are still going to suck. Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph look good on paper…if it’s a pie eating contestant list (BaDum-Ching). I just can’t see how they’re going to win 45 games with those two clogging the lane and Marbury, Crawford, and Richardson launching threes.
–The Spurs, Suns, and Mavericks will still be head and shoulders ahead of everybody else. Sorry Nuggets, Rockets, and Bulls.
–As Gilbert Arenas says, the Celtics look good on paper, but their big three will not mesh well enough to make them a contender in the East. Both Pierce and Allen are scorers. They don’t play to set teammates up and they each need 20 shots a game. Garnett is more of a team player, but he’ll also need his 20 shots a game. Look for them to play unselfishly at the start of the season, then slowly let the popping of fadeaway 20 footers begin.
If only Jeff Francis had spent more time working on his slider and less time on laundry…
To randomly change the subject, Bill Simmons’ wrote a surprisingly good column regarding the Red Sox victory in which he makes an excellent point about the Yankees and Red Sox finally learning what to do with their money. They’ve realized teams are no longer allowing their good players to hit free agency and therefore the best thing for them to do with their money is invest it in their farm systems. Now they’re spending a lot on draft picks (see: Brackman, Andrew) and Latin American operations.
Just Imagine if Latin American scouting improves enough that every decent player gets gobbled up by big market teams. Imagine if instead of spending $5 million on a garbage middle reliever, the Red Sox hire 50 full time scouts, statisticians, or analysts. Don’t you think that will give them an insurmountable advantage over the Royals? It should be interesting to see what happens in the next few years.
I’ve got good news for the crazy PETA activists who are fantasizing about Michael Vick being seriously injured by a dog—there is a group of dogs out there who have the necessary skills.
A man was injured when hunting dogs stepped on his gun. Officials with the Iowa Department of Natural Resources say 37-year-old James Harris of Tama, Iowa, was pheasant hunting with a group about 3 miles north of Grinnell when the accident happened. Officials say the group had shot a bird and when Harris went to retrieve it, he put his gun on the ground and crossed a fence. As he crossed the fence, hunting dogs stepped on his gun causing it to fire.
The grizzled outdoorsman took the bullet in his left leg and he should be able to recover. It’s obviously not the hunting trip he envisioned, but I guess it’s better than being shot by Dick Cheney.
I’ve never really considered hunting a sport (sitting in a tree and shooting animals seems like more of a hobby to me), but if hunters are in danger of actually encountering harm I might have to reconsider. After all, the possibility of serious injury is the only thing that makes people consider NASCAR a sport, right?
…Cedric Benson’s anger about all the criticism he’s getting. How angry is he? Here’s how he responded to people saying he needs more of a burst: “Do I need to run with more of a burst? No. And [expletive] them.”
…The story behind the opening kickoff of the second half in the Vikings-Eagles game. In case you missed it, here’s what happened according to the NFL.com play-by-play. “D.Akers kicks 69 yards from PHI 30 to MIN 1. 28-A.Peterson ran ob at MIN 1 for no gain.” Sounds a little strange, right? Apparently Brad Childress spends too much time working on inducing illegal procedure penalties on kickoffs, and not enough time on pass defense.
…The pure joy that’s overcoming J.P. Losman and Lee Evans now that they can play catch again. Here are some words from Losman: “Lee and I have a certain type of chemistry, a certain type of togetherness. It’s very, very special, especially when it happens with Lee. We’re pretty darn close, probably as close as players get in this league with each other. So it’s extra special that he helped me out on that play.” It sounds to me like they might be more than just teammates.
…The 49ers offensive coordinator feeling bad for his players. If that sounds a little strange to you….well…it is strange. It’s also definitely not a good sign for the Niners.
…The Texans’ analysis of their botched punt (:35 mark)—It features Matt Turk attempting to explain how he ran three yards past the ball, thereby allowing Antonio Cromartie to recover it for a Chargers touchdown.
They finally did it. They played an NFL game in Europe. Now Roger Goodell can go back to wrapping quarterbacks in bubble paper and bribing strip clubs not to admit NFL players.
The commish can take pleasure in the fact that overall the game was a success. It sold out and the excited fans were too ignorant to recognize the NFL had given them a subpar product. On the other hand, it was clear the game lacked a real NFL crowd. On key third downs the stadium was eerily silent. On questionable penalty calls there was no booing. That had to be weird for the players.
I guess the whole concept of fans being able to change the outcome of the game is an American thing. During European soccer games fans sing and chant with little correlation to what’s happening on the field of play. But in America fans cheer with two strikes, they yell when somebody’s at the free throw line, and they make as much noise as possible on third down. They think they can affect what happens. That cocky, self-importance from the fans was missing in London. So while the game was a success and future European get togethers are already being planned, it was nothing like a real NFL game.
Bonehead Moves of the Week
Eric Mangini
I’m still astounded that a Bill Belichick disciple could botch the end of a game so badly. Trailing 6-3 Chad Pennington drove the Jets into Bills territory and they eventually ended up with 4th and 3 at the Bills 41-yard line with 6 minutes left in the game. Mangini decided to punt. I understand that the Jets defense had been playing great, but you absolutely have to go for it there. Get a first down on the play and you’re in position to kick the game tying field goal. That’s the #1 thing to be concerned about, not field position or giving the Bills a chance to make it 9-3. You cannot give up a chance to tie the game by punting from the 41. If you have that much confidence in your defense then even if you miss on 4th down they should be able to get the ball back. The Jets did eventually get the ball back….trailing 13-3.
Marvin Lewis
The Bengals trailed 14-3 and had 4th and 1 at the Steelers 2-yard line late in the first half. The Bengals defense hadn’t been playing well and going for it was a no-brainer. Instead, Lewis kicked a field goal. The three points brought the Bengals within one score, but by kicking off they gave the Steelers 30 yards of field position. Ben Roethlisberger proceeded to run a perfect two minute drill and Willie Parker’s touchdown just before halftime gave the Steelers a 21-6 lead at the break.
Shrewd Moves of the Week
Jack Del Rio
Quinn Gray was terrible last week. There’s no debating that. This week Jack Del Rio decided he wouldn’t let Gray lose the game for him, and so the Jaguars came out running the ball. The ran the ball on their first 14 plays, the 15th was a screen pass, and the 16th was a touchdown run that gave the Jags a 7-3. Eventually Gray settled down a bit and in the 4th quarter he even hit a few key passes on the Jaguars’ game winning touchdown drive. Still, the reason Jacksonville was even in the game at that point was Del Rio’s decision to win strictly with defense and the running game.
Dick Jauron & Steve Fairchild
When protecting a lead late in the 4th quarter teams almost never take a shot down the field. Usually they’re content to bleed the clock running the ball even though the other team is playing 10 men in the box. The Bills coaching staff deserves a lot of credit for taking a shot down the field while clinging to a 6-3 lead. Sure, there was double coverage and the pass could have been intercepted, but usually the coverage will not be nearly that good. As it turned out, Lee Evans made a play and the decision to go deep sealed the win.
Scrounging for Signs of Patriots Weakness Can Be Difficult
During the first few weeks of the season, when Randy Moss was catching copious amounts of touchdown passes, Moss seemed to always be wide open and roaming free behind the defense. That hasn’t really been the case the last few weeks. Against the Dolphins both of Moss’ long touchdown catches came against double coverage on plays that easily could have been interceptions. Against the Redskins Moss’ touchdown came with the help on an obvious (but uncalled) push off, and his 35-yard fourth quarter reception came against triple coverage. Right now Moss and Brady are making the plays, but at some point (possibly against better ballhawking defensive backs) those throws might start turning into interceptions. Tom Brady better be careful.
Republican Politicians Could Be Brawling
Prior to the Chargers-Texans kickoff Arnold Schwarzenegger thanked the California firefighters and called them the “greatest, bravest, and most experienced firefighters in the world.” Rudy Giuliani might beg to differ about that. He seems pretty fond of the New York City firefighters.
Stat O’ the Week
4. The number of wins the Patriots and Colts have over NFC teams with winning records. It’s also the number of wins the entire NFC has over AFC teams with winning records. (Green Bay over San Diego, Chicago over Kansas City, Tampa Bay over Tennessee, and Arizona over Pittsburgh.)
I’d like to congratulate the Red Sox on having the lamest World Series celebration of all time. Jumping up and down with their hands in the air they looked like a bunch of 14-year old boys at a Good Charlotte concert.
The only acceptable World Series celebration is a dangerous, injury-causing pile up on the pitchers mound. Shame on the Red Sox for that disgraceful little huddle they called a celebration.
(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)
—A recent survey of NBA GM’s found that LeBron James is the favorite for MVP, and the Spurs are the team to beat. The poll also found that NBA GM’s don’t believe the Parker-Longoria marriage will last more than two years.
—A disagreement between the Nats and the city of D.C. has left to team unsure about whether fans will be able to park at RFK and take a shuttle to the new stadium next season. The city doesn’t know if it will need the space for other events and therefore it’s still won’t commit to allowing the Nats to use RFK’s 10,000 car parking area. This isn’t the only parking problem the Nats have—apparently there’s also no room in the players parking lot for decent hitters.
—The National Lacrosse League saved its season after the players union and the league agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement. The NLL had already announced the season would be canceled, but when everybody involved realized they had no leverage because nobody watches lacrosse, they decided to make a deal.
—The Kansas City Royals announced they are raising their average ticket price next season by about 15%. If this seems a little unfair just remember that the team did win nearly 70 games last season. Mark Grudzielanek needs pine tar, and pine tar costs money.
–The feel of the game was just completely different without Becket on the mound—it felt like the Rockies had a chance. Watching Beckett in game one was like watching a game on tape where you know the outcome—only it was live. I was sitting there rooting for the Rockies but knowing they had no chance. It was like how I still root for Neil O’Donnell to throw a touchdown pass at the end of the 1994 AFC Championship game.
–This was a game the Rockies should have won. Curt Schilling deserves a lot of credit, but he made a lot of bad pitches that the Rockies just flat out missed. It was a dismal hitting performance, especially considering how many times the Rockies got their leadoff guy on.
–I can’t believe teams haven’t been sitting on Okajima’s changeup. It’s his best pitch and he throws it in nearly every key spot. He threw it on the first pitch to get Casey Blake to ground into a double play in Game 7, and he used again to get Garret Atkins. With two on and one out Atkins was ahead in the count 2-1. It was an obvious fastball count and therefore an obvious changeup situation. For some reason Atkins was looking fastball and he hit a weak nubber to first.
–Jonathan Papelbon is a fucking lunatic. But I kind of like him.
(Ed note: I was going to write this before Morales’ tough luck game 1 appearance (he’s not use to pitching out of the bullpen and the Red Sox got a lot of soft hits) and I’m sticking with it.)
One thing is for sure. When Josh Fogg was let go by the Pirates I don’t think he ever thought he would be starting a World Series game. Even the Triple A World Series seemed like a longshot. But Fogg found a home in Colorado and Rockies manager Clint Hurdle now has him penciled in as his starter for game 3. David Ortiz is already so excited he’s leaving piles of drool everywhere.
It’s a nice little story for Fogg, but Hurdle should be starting Franklin Morales. Fogg’s impressive NLCS performance is surely still fresh in Hurdle’s mind, but that was against a young Diamonbacks team that was willing to chase Fogg’s junk. The Red Sox will not be so kind.
To beat the Red Sox a pitcher needs an out pitch. Fogg just doesn’t have one. Look at his stuff. Ok fastball. Ok control. Ok breaking ball. Ok change-up. What’s going to happen when he gets into a 3-2 count against Youkilis, Ortiz, and Ramirez? Throw a change-up out of the zone and hope they chase it? Throw a fastball down the middle and hope they hit it at somebody? There’s really no good outcome.
Morales is inexperienced, but at least he has the stuff to throw fastballs to Red Sox hitters in fastball counts and not strain his neck watching them fly into the left field seats. Even if you discount his superior stuff, Morales has done enough to earn this start. In game 2 of the NLCS he pitched very well before being pulled for a pinch hitter, and during a three week stretch in September he pitched 20 consecutive scoreless innings. (That’s right. 20 straight scoreless innings. Josh Fogg did that once in Wii baseball.) Overall, Morales had a 3.43 ERA in the regular season. Fogg’s ERA was 4.94.
On the other hand, Hurdle just went on a 21-1 tear.. My 0-0 record pales in comparison, and so maybe I should be giving Hurdle the benefit of the doubt.
