Archive for January, 2008

Leave Plaxico Alone

If you need anymore evidence as to why media day and the super bowl hype is the worst thing in professional sports, take a look at Plaxico Burress and “Guaranteegate.” (It doesn’t quite have the same ring as the other “gates.”)

A reporter who needed a story asked Burress for a prediction. Burress just said the first thing that came to mind. 23-17. He didn’t even specify which team would win.  His intention was to both be funny and dismiss the question. Burress’ answer had nothing to do with the actual game or his feelings about the game. The two numbers were his high school basketball and football numbers.

Of course now the whole thing is one of the biggest stories of the week. Tom Brady is responding. Burress’ teammates are responding. And it’s all because of one stupid question that Burress decided to answer with a tongue-in-cheek response instead of a “no comment.”

Here’s the big question I’m getting at: Isn’t this terrible journalism? How does asking Burress for a prediction accomplish any of the things journalists are supposed to be doing? There’s no new information. There’s no twist on old information. Nothing of value is added. The only outcome from these stories in an insignificant fake news cycle about a lighthearted comment. I know people have jobs, but writing these kinds of stories is the equivalent to writing about what D-list celebrities are pregnant. Nobody cares. Tell us something interesting about the game.

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The Other Scandal in Morgantown

It looks like the Rich Rodriguez-West Virginia saga is finally coming to an end, but that doesn’t mean the school is without scandal. As if the shady dealings and broken promises regarding Rodriguez weren’t enough, the West Virginia is also embroiled in a controversy regarding a phony MBA they gave to the daughter of the state’s governor.

You can read most of the details in this story, but basically Heather Bresch (who is the daughter of West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin and a high ranking corporate executive) lists an M.B.A. from West Virginia on her resume. However, when a Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reporter doing a background check called the school, the reporter was told Bresch never came close to earning the degree. In the weeks that followed the school repeatedly changed its stance on the issue, and emails were sent from high ranking administrators trying to cover up the fact that Bresch had never earned her M.B.A.

So perhaps you can see where Rich Rodriguez is coming from. Perhaps you still think he’s a rat.  Only one thing’s for sure—if the West Virginia president suddenly decides to “retire” so he can spend more time with his family, don’t be surprised.

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Attention Wealthy Golf Fans

David “Ogie” Ogron is the worlds fastest golfer. (In the video above you can see him setting a Guinness World Record and wowing hundreds of Asian people.) Ogie is currently on a quest to hit over a million golf balls in order to raise awareness for the Children’s Miracle Network. He hopes to make a documentary about his mission and he’s attempting to finance it the way any 21st century man would. He’s using Craigslist.

Amazing Worlds Fastest Golfer looking for Investors for Film Doc


Reply to: david@miraclegolftour.org
Date: 2008-01-26, 8:41PM EST

…Ogie has one of the most amazing stories that will ever be brought to the camera. His life of living in a shed for 2 years training for these remarkable feat’s was the hardest thing that anyone could have gone through. Ogie’s perseverance to save children and bring that message never give up, is priceless. Who ever decides to work with Ogie will be very happy because Ogie bring’s joy and happiness to everyone he meets, especially the children that have this deadly decease.

I give the posting a “C+” for grammar, but it gets an “A” for enthusiasm. Personally, I think Ogie should go after the people who put up the money for “The Legend of Bagger Vance.” Those guys will finance anything.

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Ryan Minor, Back With the O’s

Not a lot of people out there remember the name Ryan Minor. The few who do probably remember him as the man who replaced Cal Ripken Jr. in the lineup when the Ironman decided to end his streak. (Some others may remember him as one of the few athletes in recent memory to be drafted in both the NBA and MLB drafts. Coincidentally, in the 1996 NBA draft he was picked one spot after Mark Hendrickson, one of the few athletes to actually play both professional basketball and professional baseball)

But there’s more to the Ryan Minor story. For three years (circa 1997-1999) he was hailed as the heir apparent to Cal Ripken Jr., the man who would be the face of the Orioles for the next decade.

It didn’t quite turn out that way. As the strikeouts piled up and his batting averaged failed to climb past .200, it became clear the Minor would never be the player the Orioles hoped. Even worse, it soon became clear that the Orioles future would never be what the team hoped it would be.

That’s why I will always remember Ryan Minor. In my mind he represents the beginning of this recent dark age for Orioles baseball. The man who was going to take over for the face of the Orioles (and hit even more home runs!!!) just never panned out. And just like that, in the blink of an eye, the Orioles had gone through 10 straight losing season.

So what’s the point of all of this? Well, this weekend Ryan Minor rejoined the Orioles organization—he will be part of the staff at Single-A Delmarva. For some reason this news brought me great joy. Part of it is that it’s always nice to see a guy who doesn’t pan out in the big leagues stay in the game and become a successful coach. But maybe there’s something else going on. Maybe Minor rejoining the organization will complete the circle and close the book on this forgettable age in Orioles history. I hope that’s it.

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The Weekly Shakedown


(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)

–C.C. Sabathia was named Cleveland’s athlete of the year, beating out Lebron James and Braylon Edwards. That’s not all. For his role in helping the Red Sox advance to the World Series Sabathia is also in the running to be named Boston’s athlete of the year.

–Warriors forward Matt Barnes was forbidden to play in a game earlier this week because a clerical error left him off the Warriors active roster. Instead of including Barnes, the roster listed Mickael Pietrus in two spots. The Warriors say they will no longer let Pietrus’ mom type up the roster.

–A brawl outside a high school basketball game resulted in two injured police officers and 15 teenagers being placed under arrest. It looks like somebody’s ready for college….

–The Suns announced plans to play an outdoor preseason game next October at the Indian Wells Tennis Garden. Only one official will be allowed on the floor and he’ll have to sit in a chair at half court, but if anything that will make the officiating better.

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An Easy Way to Earn an MLB Salary

The fantasy sports craze won’t last forever. At some point people will want something that adds even more importance to meaningless sporting events. And by that I mean people will want something that makes games even more exciting to gamble on.

On that note, I introduce you to Indians farmhand Randy Newsom. The 25 year-old pitcher is offering 4% of all his future major league earnings for $50,000. If you don’t have that kind of money, you can buy a share of that 4% for $20.

Think about how this takes sports gambling to the next level. If you’ve got a piece of Newsom it won’t matter if he comes in with his team down 12 runs. Every single pitch he throws will be like the spinning of a roulette wheel. Fantasy sports can’t provide that kind of excitement.

The sort of thing Newsom is doing is already fairly common in other industries. Right now the most popular form of “selling yourself” is offering a percentage your future earnings to whoever pays your grad school tuition.

Clearly there’s a bright future for sports gambling, fantasy games, stocks, and all that other good stuff. Don’t be surprised if in five or ten years you can bet on any professional athlete’s career the way you can bet on Newsom’s. Maybe college athletes will even begin selling a piece of their booster payments.

(Via Marginal Revolution…again)

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ESPNU Strikes Again

Okay, I’m now convinced. ESPN is definitely screwing over local cable providers and their customers in order to pressure the providers into carrying ESPNU. That latest victims are a group of innocent Kansas City residents.

For months ESPN had been promising to let Metro Sports (a local Kansas City station) air a tape delayed broadcast of last Saturday’s Kansas-Missouri game (which was airing on ESPNU). Then on Friday, without explanation, ESPN told the network it wouldn’t be able to show the game.

Hmmm…is it possible ESPN was hoping hordes of angry Comcast subscribers (who get Metro Sports but not ESPNU) would call Comcast and demand that it start carrying ESPNU? Sounds a lot like what ESPN did to Connecticut residents three months ago when it broadcast two important UConn football games exclusively on ESPNU.

Listen up ESPN. I know you’re confused as to why some people out there always seem to be finding fault in the way you do things. Well, just in case you were wondering, this is why sports fans hate you. This is why bloggers hate you. This is why media critics hate you. You don’t care about fans—and now there’s actually evidence of this apart from your countless hours of shitty original programming.

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It’s Wednesday…

And here’s what I’m thinking…

The paparazzi are really shafting Bill Belichick with these Tom Brady pictures. Two weeks before the Super Bowl they’re letting the Giants know his star quarterback has a tender ankle. It all might turn out to be inconsequential, but Belichick can’t be happy if the Giants decide to try a little bit harder to get pressure on Brady. Perhaps this whole “scandal” is poetic justice for the most secretive, rule bending coach in the NFL. I’m still in shock that TMZ now has one significant deed to go up against the millions of insignificant one they’ve been a part of.

If anybody out there is a fan of teammate brawls there was a good one yesterday between Arsenal’s Emmanuel Adebayor and Nicklas Bendtner during a 5-1 loss to Tottenham. Bendtner emerged bloody amid reports of a powerful Adebayor headbutt. There’s something psychologically unique about two teammates fighting. You never hear about accounting firms where two employees attempt to beat the shit out of each other, but it happens all the time in professional sports. Yeah, athletes are competitive and passionate, but they’re on national television. Would you ever fight somebody (and risked getting your ass pummeled) if you knew millions of people would see it?

You know who else is fighting? Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Last week the Clinton campaign compared Brack Obama to Magic Johnson, calling him a “hyped rookie.” So what did the Obama people do in response? They sent out a list of Magic Johnson’s extensive rookie achievements. That’s some real solid campaign work.

Leandro Barbosa had his faith in human kindness put to the test. Next time he will use an alias.

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30 Days, 1 Bathroom

We’ve all spent a night of our lives asleep on the floor of a bathroom, the toilet and sink our only companions. It’s generally something you don’t want to do again, but professional poker player Jay Kwik is about to do it for 30 nights—all in the name of prop betting.

It all started following a Kanye West concert on New Year’s Eve. Kwik, who is known as “Bellagio Jay” for having spent a majority of the past 10 years on the hotel’s premises, mentioned that he believed he could live in a bathroom for 30 days without a problem. Andrew “Good2CU” Robl and Alec “traheho” Torelli quickly jumped all over the errant comment and challenged him to put his money where his mouth is.

The bet will be monitored by video cameras and Kwik must adhere to a strict set of rules. He may not have a computer with him, but he is allowed to have a portable DVD player (porn?) and 400 cell phone minutes (phone sex?) He can open the door for room service (hookers?), but he is not permitted to speak to anyone under normal circumstances (no strippers). Although the exact amount of money at stake is a secret, “reports” say it’s as high as six figures plus the hotel bill.

Some people out there are sure to call Kwik a degenerate gambler. I prefer to call him a modern day Thoreau. Secluding himself from society for 30 days is an extremely difficult task that will surely elevate him to that higher psychological plane where Britney Spears’ day-to-day activities are no longer important.

I hear that Kwik’s time in the bathroom has even impressed Roger Clemens. The controversial Mitchell man once spent 4 straight hours in the bathroom for a massive steroid injecting session, but that was as much as he could take.

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Norv Turner is Still an Idiot

Oh Norv. Just when you had everybody convinced your past coaching missteps were ancient history, you go ahead and do something like this.

The Chargers were down two scores with nine minutes left to play. They had 4th and 10 from the Patriots 36. And they punted.

It was a decision that was stupefying, indefensible, and moronic. I can’t even imagine being a Chargers fan at that moment.  I would have thrown every object in my reach at the TV.  Down two scores with nine minutes left Turner gave the ball back to the most prolific offense of all time in order to gain 25 yards of field possession. Right then and there any hope of a comeback disappeared.

Turner was counting on forcing an improbable three-and-out, getting the ball back with seven minutes left, scoring a touchdown, forcing another improbable three-and-out, and driving for a winning field goal. That’s called having too much confidence in your defense. Or being somebody with the brain the size of a pea.

Turner’s fatal decision was just the culmination of a completely botched set of downs. The Chargers had 1st and 10 on the 36. Everybody but Norv Turner knew then and there that the Chargers were in four down territory and had to get at least a field goal (which meant getting the ball at least to the 30-yard-line.) But instead of trying to pick up some smaller chunks of yardage the Chargers through the ball downfield. Even on the 3rd and 10, a draw would have been a good call. That would have brought up a manageable 4th and short or put the ball in Nate Kaeding’s range. The Chargers did neither, paving the way for a coaching gaffe that will live on in infamy.

Other thoughts from Sunday…

—I understand that it’s difficult to go 19-0, but I’d really feel better about the Patriots being anointed the greatest team of all time if they didn’t keep getting outplayed by inferior teams for 40 minute stretches.

—Outstanding decision by Tom Coughlin to for it on 4th down right before halftime. Coaches will almost always punt the ball in that situation even though they could easily throw a hail mary and not leave enough time for their opponents to do any damage. The Giants didn’t get anything out of it, but it was a good aggressive call.

—The officiating in the Giants-Packers game was atrocious. There weren’t necessarily a slew of bad calls or one sided calls, but the officials made a ton of borderline game-changing calls that didn’t need to be made. The refs just didn’t let the players play.

For example, there are the two huge and unnecessary 3rd quarter personal foul calls. The first was a roughing the passer penalty on Nick Collins that kept alive the Giants go-ahead touchdown drive in the 3rd quarter. The call was borderline at best. There was nothing blatant and he didn’t do anything dirty. Two minutes later, on the Packers ensuing drive, the refs gave Green Bay a first down with an extremely subjective personal foul call on Sam Madison. Madison and a Packers defender were tussling after the play and the ref only saw what Madison did.

It simply wasn’t necessary to call either penalty. That’s the bottom line. I understand that the NFL needs to protect quarterbacks and keep players from brawling, but when it’s the second half of a conference championship game the league cannot allow officials to affect the outcome of the game by flagging an action that had zero effect on the play.

(By the way, my favorite part of that roughing the passer call was Eli Manning lying on the ground and pleading for a flag. Since roughing the passer could basically be called “The quarterback is too weak and girly to take a hit like a man,” it’s always funny when a quarterback is asking for it to be called.)

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