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(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)

–UCLA is asking fans to refrain from bothering John Wooden during Bruins home games. The legendary coach’s family says he often can’t pay attention to the actual game because fans seeking autographs line up outside his aisle. I’m sure that’s part of it, but we all know the real reason Wooden doesn’t want to be bothered—the Bruins cheerleader dance routines.

–Bulls rookie JamesOn Curry was arrested after he was caught urinating in public. However, contrary to initial reports, Curry wasn’t arrested for the actual urinating, but because he ran way from police once he was spotted. Apparently public urination in the state of Idaho is generally punished with just a warning ticket. Curry really should known all that—after all, state’s new license plate reads “Idaho: Our Soil is Your Urinal.”

–LSU’s Board of Directors has approved a plan that will raise ticket prices by about $5 a game. That won’t make fans happy, but the money to replace deceased tigers and keep Les Miles with a full supply of hats has to come from somewhere.

–Capitals center Michael Nylander will miss the rest of the season with a shoulder injury. When the Oilers heard the news the team immediately called him to express their satisfaction and tell him to go to hell.

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Via Marginal Revolution come a new paper which concludes that college football causes crime. The paper, which is written by two University of Colorado Economics professors, has some very interesting results.

We find that college football games are associated with sharp increases in crime. For instance, assaults increase by about 9% when a community hosts a college football game, vandalism increases by about 18%, and DUIs increase by about 13%. We also find evidence that upsets result in larger increases in crime than games that do not produce an upset. For instance, an upset loss at home is associated with a 112% increase in assaults and a 61% increase in vandalism.

The moral? It probably wasn’t a good idea to be walking around Ann Arbor after the Wolverines lost to Appalachian State.

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The other night I did something I almost never do. I’m not really sure what came over me—it just sort of happened. I sat down on the couch, and before I knew it I was watching Sportscenter. You remember Sportcenter. It’s that show which 10 years ago was the best sports news broadcast on the planet, but now is dumbed down by empty analysis, annoying anchors, and ratings ploys.

Anyway, something weird happened on my TV that night. Sportscenter was actually good. After a few minutes of watching, the reason why became obvious.

It was a slow news night.

That meant the show could take an extra 30 seconds and diagram a clever double screen that Jamar Butler used twice to hit open threes. It meant there was time to tell us that all four times LeBron has scored 50 points it has been on the road. It meant the show could follow up with Igor Olshansky to see how his goal of filling up the Patriots bulletin board is coming along. That’s the kind of stuff that once made Sportscenter great. Unique highlights, interesting numbers, and money quotes.

The big problem nowadays is that the internet has made Sportscenter obsolete as anything other than a highlight show, and nobody running the show seems to know it. The Sportscenter producers need to understand that we don’t want to see Sean Salisbury analyzing Sunday’s AFC Championship Game. By the time he comes on TV we’ve already read 10 different stories on the game by people with opinions we respect much more than Salisbury’s. Similarly, the show doesn’t need to tell us who the Falcons are considering hiring—everybody who cares already read about it on the internet five hours ago.

The result is that Sportscenter is no longer a staple of die-hard sports fans, it’s a staple of casual sports fans. That’s why there’s been such a backlash against ESPN from die-hard fans (read: bloggers). The show has no ghetto-loyalty. It’s abandoned the people who helped it get through its formative years in order to go after the big money.

All that from watching 40 minutes of Sportscenter. I better try and not let it happen again.

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Oh Chris Mortensen, when will you learn. You’ve spent the whole year being a target of those who love to mock you for your faulty reporting (Eli’s out for the season?). Why would you go ahead and have your name attached to the report that Tony Dungy has not made up his mind about retiring? I don’t care if Dungy actually hasn’t made up his mind. Whenever he does finally make a decision, it’s obvious from the evidence (his son transferred, Caldwell isn’t taking another job, PFT is usually right) that he’s going to retire.

So why go through the trouble of having your name associated with the “Dungy not retiring” talk? It will only be bad in the long run. Even if what you technically reported is true, you’ll only be remembered for reporting something that refuted what ended up being the truth. If I were you I would work my ass off to make sure I’m the one who officially breaks the “Dungy is retiring story.” That could redeem yourself just a little bit.

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On Tuesday an Australian Open match had to be temporarily suspended while police subdued a group of rowdy spectators with pepper spray. In the end, five fans were thrown out of the stadium. Just another ho-hum day a the Open.

Now here’ the interesting part.

Police said those thrown out will be not be allowed to re-enter Melbourne Park for 24 hours.

Twenty-four hours? That’s it? These people create such a disturbance that the marquee sporting event of the country has to be stopped, bringing shame and ridicule on the great land of Australia, and they’re going to be allowed back into the stadium in 24 hours?

Attention hooligans around the world. Australia is the place to go. If the Pacers-Pistons brawl had happened there the guy who threw the beer at Artest would have been back in his seat for tip-off of the next game.

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Sometimes I wish every sport was like lacrosse. After all, when you think about it, lacrosse really has a lot to offer. Physical play, acrobatic moves, coaches assaulting opposing players.

Police at 52 Division confirmed yesterday that Rock coach Glenn Clark has been charged with assault as a result of an incident with a Minnesota player in the corridor near the Toronto dressing room in the moments following the Rock’s overtime loss at the ACC Friday.

Ah, the National Lacrosse League. A place where lacrosse players from all over the world can vent their frustration over having to live in underpaid anonymity despite being the best in the world at what they do.

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I’m not here to talk about the Wizards play the last three games (although it should be noted that the will, desire, courage, and intestinal fortitude of Caron Butler, Antwan Jamison, Antonio Daniel, DeShawn Stevenson, and the rest of the team has been unbelievable. They’re making free throws and playing defense, and if Gilbert Arenas finds a role when he comes back this team is going to be a force). Anyway, I’m not going to talk about any of that.

What I want to talk about is Wizards broadcaster Steve Buckhantz’s claims that the Celtics were pumping crowd noise into TD Banknorth Garden throughout the 2nd half. You know what I have to say to that? Fuck you Boston fans. Brag all you want about your Patriots and your Red Sox. The fact is, you guys are so lame that the team has to create artificial crowd noise during key moments. You guys suck.

Other things on my mind…

–The other night Joakim’s Noah’s teammates voted to bench him. That’s right, his teammates. The team had already suspended him one game for a confrontation with an assistant coach, but I guess his teammates liked not having him around so much they decided to do it again. The Joakim honeymoon (he’s the woman) appears to be over.

–Oh, Bron-Bron. Somebody has to tell him that when NBA players get pulled over for speeding they’re supposed to have weed, firearms, or hookers in the car.

–Did you Kyle Korver has a brother? Not only that but he’s a key part of the most underrated mid-major in college basketball.

–Shawn Kemp Jr. could wind up in the SEC at Florida or Kentucky. Fathers, lock up your daughters.

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While watching Ryan Grant slice through the Seahawks defense on Saturday, it suddenly hit me. This is the kind of running back Reggie Bush should be. A quick burst to turn the corner. Amazing cuts at full speed. The remarkable acceleration to blow by safeties even after being slowed by hits in the box.

Watch Grant get the corner below. Watch his other highlights from Saturday’s game.

Now take a look a this highlight video (or one of the many others ) of Bush at USC. Carefully watch some of Bush’s more standard runs. There’s a little more shake ‘n bake than with Grant, but the overall running style is pretty similar.

So what makes Grant the stud and Bush the dud? It’s hard to say. Probably Grant read his blockers better and therefore he’s able to hit the hole a split second faster. In the NFL that can make all the difference.

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Jack Del Rio and the Jags defense had a decent gameplan on Saturday night. They took away the deep ball and made Tom Brady dink and dunk his way down the field—the hope was that a sack, penalty, or dropped pass would kill a few drives. At the very least, the Jags hoped that when the Patriots got deep into their territory, the short field would allow them be a little more aggressive and maybe, just maybe, hold the Patriots to a field goal.

Since the way to beat the Patriots is to not give up big plays, try and hold them to field goals, and hope your offense scores a touchdown every time, it was a pretty solid strategy.

The problem was that the Jags made two crucial mistakes. The first was that in an effort to take away the big play, the Jags made it way too easy for the Patriots to move the ball into their territory. They never blizted and they handed Wes Welker 9-yard catches on a silver platter. There’s playing it safe, and then there’s playing it too safe. The Jags were playing it so safe there was no chance of getting that penalty,sack, or dropped pass that would kill a drive.

(I actually think the Jags would have been better off onside kicking after every score. They were basically letting the Patriots stroll into their territory anyway—giving the ball to the Patriots at their 40 would have meant nothing, and they might have gained a possession or two.)

The second mistake the Jags made was not adjusting their strategy when the clock became a factor. In the 4th quarter it became clear the Jaguars needed a stop, and to get a stop they needed pressure on Tom Brady. Because the Jags front four hadn’t gotten a whiff of Brady all day, that meant blitzing. It was the 4th quarter. If Moss beats you deep, so be it. Getting pressure on Brady is what’s important.

Instead the Jags continued to rush four. They occasionally brought a 5th guy, but it was usually a defensive back or a linebacker on a delayed blitz. Nothing they brought was the pocket-collapsing type of stuff you need to force a Tom Brady incompletion. The Jaguars never got the stop and eventually they ran out of time.

The only way to beat the Patriots is to get pressure on Brady. The Ravens and Giants did it with three and four man fronts. The Eagles did it with all-out blitzing. However you do it, you need to get pressure because when Brady can sit back and stare at the defense for three of four seconds he’s automatic. That’s one reason why the Chargers might have a chance—they have a good pass rush, and in the end, that’s really all that matters when you play the Patriots. Right now, the most important player in what remains of the NFL season is Shawne Merriman. If he can repeatedly get to Brady, the Chargers have a shot at pulling off the upset. If he fails (and Aaron Kampman or Usi Umenyiora fail after him), the Patriots should have an easy road to a Super Bowl title.

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Let me preface this by saying I am not some crazy conspiracy theorist digging for evidence that the NFL is secretly trying to get Brett Favre to the Super Bowl. This was merely my natural reaction the very first time I saw what I am about to show you. Mostly, I’m just writing this to see if anybody else out there noticed what I noticed. Ok, here it is…

Late in the first quarter the Packers were driving to try and tie the score at 14. In one of the games most crucial sequences, Bubba Franks caught a 3^rd down pass and was marked just shy of the first down. The Packers challenged the spot, and when the ball was re-spotted Franks had just enough for a first down.

Here’s what caught my eye. After the first down is given the official holding the chain pulls it away from the ball (into a position where the spot would have been short), and in doing so he make it look like there was extra slack in the chain during the measurement. You can see it in the video at about the 3:16 mark (if the link doesn’t work, the highlights can easily be found on NFL.com) and in the “before” and “after” pictures below. Additionally (and you can’t see this in the pictures), in the HD broadcast it kind of, sort of, maybe looked like there was some slack in the chain during the measurement. Unfortunately, you can’t get real good look because FOX was showing a replay and only cut to the very end of the measurement (was FOX in on it too?)

Ok. Now let’s debunk this. The most obvious explanation is that the official at the other end of the chain had already picked up his end and started walking away. That would easily explain why there was slack in the chain and everything would be wrapped up in a neat little package. Here’s the problem. I’ve watched a lot of football and I’ve never seen a chain move in that specific motion—and I’ve definitely never seen a chain move in that manner so fast after the first down was awarded. Look at how quickly the chain moves after the first down signal is given. If you’re the official ten yards away from the action on the other end, don’t you think you would wait for the official at the spot of the ball to move the chain before you did? It also looks a little like the official is surprised there was slack in the chain and immediately moves it back in the other direction to cover it up (ok, so that’s this is stretching it a little).

The other piece of evidence that shoots down my little theory is that Franks was initially spotted just inches shy of the first down. Unless the officials re-spotted the ball less than two inches from the initial spot, you can infer that Franks would have gotten the first down. The only counterargument to this is that the re-spotting could have also been part all the foul play (i.e. the officials were arbitrarily re-spotting the ball because they knew the phony measurement would result in a 1st down.)

In the words of Forest Gump, that’s about all I have to say about that. Again, I don’t truly believe all of this—I really just want to know if anybody out there noticed it too. Make of it what you will.

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