the Hardest Yard
Apr 9th 2008nospunzoneNFL & Football & Media
I just heard Michael Vick might be playing some pick-up ball in the prison yard. Dangerous, potentially serious injury causing decision? Hell no! How about Fox’s newest reality show this fall?
The premise: Michael Vick is putting together a football team to take on the guards (ok, so I might have borrowed an idea or two for this one. Maybe we even call it “The Hardest Yard.”) There are tryouts, cuts, interviews, and some good old fashioned dramatic back-stabbing (literally.) Leavenworth puts together their toughest squad. Maybe they even import a guard or two (preferably an ex-college star.) Her are some ideas for the show:
- A prison style combine featuring:
WRs: Scaling the Wall in an Attempted Escape Vertical Jump test and Not Dropping the Soap Hand Skills test
OLs: Pass Blocking the Guards While Your Cellmate Stabs a Rival Gang Member test
LBs: How Quickly You Can Recover from a Taser Shock (shows toughness)
RBs and QBs: Outrunning Prison Dogs (sure, Vick can run 63 yards against an NFL caliber secondary, but try zig-zagging your way around bloodthirsty German Sheppards)
Des: Breaking the Tackle of 5 Men About to…. Well, you get the idea.
- Instead of agent signing and contract negotiation, how about lawyer hiring and plea bargaining?
- Special guest judges (I wonder what prisons Pacman Jones and Chris Henry will be in this fall? And for that matter, I wonder if it matters if it’s state or federal? I will have to contact Fox’s legal department and pull some strings.)
- The season accumulates in the Prison Bowl, which will be aired just like a real game the day of the Super Bowl.
- If the prisoners win, extra conjugal visits. If the gaurds win, extra baton privelages.
- And as an extra twist… if Vick wins, he gets to leave jail early for good behavior. If he loses, Vick goes into solitary confinement for two years.
Fox, I am waiting your phone call.
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