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It looks like Roger Goodell isn’t the only sports disciplinarian with a disdain for strip clubs. This week English cricket player Paul Collingwood was fined 1,000 pounds for visiting “a lap dancing bar” during a cricket tournament.

The real bad news for Collingwood is that he can’t even say the nighttime entertainment helped him get ready for the next match. The following day against South Africahe recored a “first-ball duck”, something akin to repeatedly striking out with the bases loaded.

Fortunately, Collingwood is extremely well versed in the athlete tradition of accepting blame while denying responsibility.

“The fact is I made a mistake, that’s what it comes down to, and what I need to focus on now is a big game tomorrow [England play India] for us.

“I was taken in a car with friends and taken to the bar and got there, had a beer and thought ‘I need to get out of this place’.”

For now Collingwood’s behavior will be a warning to all those young whippersnapper cricket players who think it’s alright if they go to strip clubs during tournaments. The lesson, as always, is if you want to be a famous athlete in England and a sexual deviant, it’s best to be a soccer player.

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In the NFL, there are many ways for a player to get under the skin of his opponent. He can “trash talk” his opponent’s skills, give him a few after-the-whistle shoves, or in the case of Joey Porter, punch him out at a blackjack table. However, in the sport of cricket things are done a little bit differently.

Over the weekend England attempted to rattle India paceman Zaheer Khan by tossing jelly beans at the wicket while he was batting. Apparently the candy was meant to suggest that Zaheer had a soft center. Unfortunately for England, the gambit backfired.

India paceman Zaheer Khan said England’s attempts to unsettle him by tossing jelly beans on to the wicket proved the spur for his five-wicket haul in the second test on Monday.

Zaheer claimed five for 75 in England’s second innings at Trent Bridge to finish with a match haul of nine for 134. India, with all 10 wickets in hand, need just 63 runs to win on Tuesday and take a 1-0 lead in the series.

For those unfamiliar with cricket, that means something along the lines of “he had a really, really, really, good game.”  Perhaps England should have spent more time practicing and less time at the candy store.

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