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(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)

–Florida State put its sports teams on two years of self-imposed probation as punishment for the entire football team cheating in class. Nevertheless, Florida State administrators are not too concerned—they say they know a guy who can help them serve two years of probation in only three months.

–Philadelphia appears to be on the verge of finally getting an MLS expansion team. Fans are already putting together a guide on how to boo the team in 23 different languages.

–Ryan Dempster announced that he believes the Cubs are going to win the Wold Series. Right. And Aramis Ramirez is going to be honored by Bud Selig for his prowess as a cockfighter.

–Forget about Roger Clemens—Matt Herges and Glenallen Hill admit to taking steroids!! I’d like to believe them, but part of me thinks they’re only pretending to come clean so they can be introduced to the titillating Virginia Foxx.

–Nike and Steve Nash announced plans to release a new shoe (the Nike Trash Talk Shoe) made partly from pieces of manufacturing waste. Among the different materials in the shoe will be scraps of leather waste from a factory floor, ground up rubber from recycled shoes, and what remains of Marcus Banks’ NBA career.

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(Every week there are a number of stories that slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports.  These are just a few of them.)

–Chris Webber is reportedly considering making a comeback with the Pistons and could return as soon as January. Awesome. If Webber returns he could team with Antonio McDyess to form an unstoppable one-two punch of aging big men with no cartilage left in their knees.

–Tickemaster and the NFL have signed a deal to join forces in creating a website where people can re-sell NFL tickets. The goal is get back ticket revenues the league is losing to other resale website such as StubHub. With so many crappy teams nobody wants to see, that’s a lot of revenue.

–The Penguins and Flyers are considering playing an outdoor game on the campus of Penn State. Flyers G.M. Paul Holmgren thinks the game could draw as many as 100,000 people, at least 80,000 of which should make it to the end of the game without being kicked out for drunken fighting.

–The Orioles are quietly raising ticket prices again. The hike may sound unnecessary, but carefully crafted PR statements that distance the team from steroids don’t grow on trees.

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Steve Bruce had one wild weekend—even for a Premier League coach (those guys throw some crazy coke and stripper parties). Last Tuesday Bruce announced he was leaving Birmingham City in order to take over Wigan Atlantic. After a deal was reached between the two teams, Birmingham claimed Bruce still owed them about $500,000. As late as Thursday, both teams considered Bruce their coach.

Alas, Bruce’s quest to win two games with two different teams on the same day never came to fruition. A deal was reached and Bruce was Wigan’s official manager by kickoff on Saturday. Bruce’s new team fared well in his debut, hanging with league-leading Arsenal before falling 2-0.  Meanwhile, his old team did not show they secretly hated him by playing an unbelievable game—they lost to Portsmouth 2-0.

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In honor of Thanksgiving, I’d just like to relive one of my [least] favorite NFL memories—Phil Luckett and Jerome Bettis botching the overtime coin toss in the 1998 Steelers-Lions Thanksgiving game. To this day that coin toss is a reminder that no matter how simple something might be, the NFL will still find a way to screw it up. I’ll never forget the look on Bettis’ face as he pleaded with Luckett to change the call. A miscommunication hadn’t gone that badly for Bettis since the time he ordered three Double Whoppers at a Burger King and was accidentally given three Whopper Jrs. It was rough.

On another note, if you’re too lazy or apathetic to get off your ass and help the less fortunate this week (because apparently that’s what people do during holidays) Campbell’s Soup is here to help you out. By taking part in the company’s “Click For Cans” promotion you can help donate cans to the needy and entertain yourself with a mind numbing flash game at the same time. It’s a win-win situation.

Finally, check out my NFL picks for this week.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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This week the Croatian soccer team found themselves as the center of the international soccer world. Having already advanced to the Euro 2008 round of 16, the Croatians entered Wednesday’s game against England with a chance to knock the Brits out of the tournament. With so much attention on the team, the most important thing was not to embarrass themselves. Oops.

The head of the Croatian Football Federation (CFF) was arrested for shoplifting at London’s Gatwick Airport on the eve of his country’s crunch Euro 2008 qualifier with England. Zorislav Srebric, 67, was detained by police for questioning but was later released without charge.

The official was held on Tuesday after allegedly being caught stealing stationery from WHSmith at Gatwick Airport’s South Terminal. He was taken away by police yelling and screaming as stunned Croatia players looked on.

Can you imagine being a Croatian player and standing there as the head of your federation gets dragged through the airport like a 6-year-old on a sugar-high? It’s just the kind of thing that could make players seek Serbian citizenship. As it turned out, the whole thing was just a “misunderstanding.”

A statement from the CFF said a misunderstanding arose as Mr Srebric was buying newspapers but then noticed his team enter the airport building. He hurried to organise them through airport control but police thought he was trying to avoid paying for the papers.

In the end it ended up being a pretty good trip for Srebric. Croatia won the game 3-2 and they got to see David Beckham play…for free!!

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Today’s paper comes from the October issue of the Journal of Economic Psychology. In it, the paper’s four authors argue that goaltenders move too much on penalty kicks.

In soccer penalty kicks, goalkeepers choose their action before they can clearly observe the kick direction. An analysis of 286 penalty kicks in top leagues and championships worldwide shows that given the probability distribution of kick direction, the optimal strategy for goalkeepers is to stay in the goal’s center. Goalkeepers, however, almost always jump right or left….The seemingly biased decision making is particularly striking since the goalkeepers have huge incentives to make correct decisions, and it is a decision they encounter frequently.

According to the abstract (I’m not paying to be a JEP subscriber) the paper eventually goes on to discuss how the bias in goalies can be used to examine how people manage investments, and how workers decide how long to stay at their jobs.

From the meaningless unmathematical viewpoint of a sports fan, I’d have to say the conclusion of the paper sounds right. If a goalie stays in the middle of the goal it looks like he can still cover 35%-45% of the net. When a goalie chooses a side he is immediately giving up at least 2/3 of the net. If any 8-10 year olds want the secret to dominating their rec leagues, this is it. (Professional soccer players should also be paying attention.)

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Take a look at Stuttgart’s Mario Gomez scoring against Bayern Munich last week. He doesn’t quite use his legs…or his head…or his shoulder…or his chest…but I guess there’s nothing illegal about how he scored. [Insert your own joke about soccer not being the only scoring that part of the body does]. The one thing I’m wondering  is if Gomez still thought it was worth it five hours later?

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Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland was very excited about scoring a goal in Monday’s match against Sunderland. He was so excited there was only one thing he could do—take off his pants.

Ireland received only a slap on the wrist for the incident—there was “no formal disciplinary action”, just a hint that it would be in his best interest never to do it again. Meanwhile, Chad Johnson lies in bed daydreaming about the things he could do if he played European football instead of American football.

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I don’t think the U.S. has an official “sports minister”, but based on the recent comments of the UK’s Gerry Sutcliffe it sounds like it would be fun to have one. Last week Sutcliffe called Chelsea captain Jon Terry’s new contract “obscene”, and he criticized Manchester United for raising ticket prices…again.

Sutcliffe said there was a danger of football losing touch with ordinary fans because of players’ sky-high salaries, and that clubs could price grass-roots supporters out of attending matches.

“Good luck to John Terry but I think it is obscene to be on £150,000 a week,” he said. “People in the street cannot understand salaries like that. Chelsea are £250 million in the red and they may be able to cope with that but it’s not the real world. £250 million in the red is not sustainable.

“This year Manchester United increased their season tickets by 13 percent and said fans have to buy automatically European and Carling Cup games as well and that costs an extra £200. That’s taking the game away from the ordinary grass-roots supporter.

Poor John Terry. Being singled out like that can’t be fun. All he wanted was to get paid $250,000 a week to play soccer, but he can’t do it without some damned politician criticizing him for it. And what’s Manchester United supposed to do? Not raise ticket prices? That’s cooky talk.

I can only imagine what Sutcliffe would say about A-Rod’s new contract or the Red Sox charging the per capita income of a small African nation for season tickets. The guy would have a field day. Maybe the U.S. can borrow him for a couple of weeks. In return we could send Arnold Schwarzenegger to the UK. They love Kindergarten Cop over there.

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(Every week there are a number of stories slip through the cracks here at ShakedownSports. These are just a few of them.)

—I sure hope you didn’t miss it, but the NBDL draft was held yesterday. Former Net Eddie Gill was the first overall pick and Darvin Ham (that’s right, that Darvin Ham) was the 3rd overall selection. Other notable 1st round picks include former Saluki Jamaal Tatum (4th overall), Nik Caner-Medley(6th overall), former Celtic 1st rounder Kendrick Brown (9th overall), and Kevin Pittsnogle (11th overall). Spencer Hawes was chosen 8th overall, but the pick was disallowed when shocked NBDL GMs discovered he was already picked in the NBA draft.

—Thanks to a small mix-up the Cleveland Cavaliers accidentally sold nearly 100 tickets to Wednesday’s season opener for $10-$25 less than they were supposed to. No wonder they can’t afford to re-sign Anderson Varejao.

—Months after officially retiring their controversial Native American mascot, the University of Illinois brought back Chief Illiniwek for last week’s homecoming parade. Yep, there’s nothing quite like obeying the NCAA until the heat dies down, then completely reversing your previous decision once nobody is paying attention. See that Kelvin Sampson, you’re supposed to wait until nobody is paying attention before you resume your shady activities.

—FIFA has voted to end the practice of rotating the World Cup between continents. The new rule will go into effect in 2018, a year when the Cup was supposed to be played in a North or Central American County. It’s a shame, but FIFA’s decision could severely hamper the 2018 Cup bid of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

…And don’t forget about this week’s picks.

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