Shakedownsports.com

…where the Yankees now have time to check this stuff out.

–Jeff Blake is the Hall of Fame—well, he’s in a Hall of Fame. (Orlando Sentinel)

–I’m sure I don’t speak for everybody, but this is not a good way to sell cereal. (Arizona Republic)

–The Seattle Mariners are the first Major League Baseball team to get screwed for the 2008 season. (Seattle Times)

–The majority of a high school soccer powerhouse gets suspended for smoking weed. How did they get busted? A hotel maid did them in. (Sacramento Bee)

–The X-Box is ruining British Soccer. (100% Injury Rate)

–My Extra Mustard Week 6 NFL picks. (SI.com)

–This is how you get a 9 game MLS suspension. (Youtube)

–The Patriots love themselves some humble pie. (Hartford Courant)

–Najeh Davenport finds himself in some non-fecal matter related trouble. (The Plain Dealer)

–I don’t know why, but this made me laugh. (Ok, Ido know why) (Walk of Balk)

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Remember fragile AC Milan goaltender Dida? His audition to be a patient on Grey’s Anatomy did not go unnoticed by European soccer’s governing body. UEFA has charged Dida with “bringing football into disrepute” and it will conduct an investigation into his actions. After investigators present their case UEFA’s disciplinary body will decide whether to punish Dida.

“Bringing football into disrepute”—that’s some outstanding nomenclature. The Rams should make it their official 2007 team motto. Or perhaps if Roger Goodell had used that phrase when meeting with Pacman Jones he could have convinced Pacman get his act together.

(Update: Dida gets a two game suspension)

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You won’t tear your ACL struggling with these…

–Ronaldinho is halfway to Stamford Bridge. The move would be great for soccer because it would give Barcelona a chance to play wunderkinds Bojan Krkic (just turned 17) and Giovani dos Santos (just turned 18). Don’t believe me? Take just take a look at this video of Giovani and this one of Krkic. (The Sun)

–Here’s a terrific story from the Washington Post about the anomaly that is the 2007 Arizona Diamondbacks. Anytime a baseball article repeatedly mentions the Pythagorean Theorem it’s worth reading. (Washington Post)

–The Toronto FC goal drought is finally over!! And after just 824 short minutes. (Toronto Star)

–China is joining the Arizona Fall League. (MLB.com)

–The war of words between Geno Auriemma and Pat Summit isn’t over. (Hartford Courant)

–The Harvard football team joins the 21st century. (New York Times)

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Irish midfielder Stephen Ireland is the Larry David of European soccer. Last week he asked to be excused from Ireland’s match against the Czech Republic because his grandmother died. The thing is, she wasn’t actually dead. Ireland then decided the best solution was more lies.

When journalists discovered earlier this week that Ireland’s maternal grandmother, Patricia Tallon, was alive and well - and shocked to read about her death in the newspapers - Ireland changed his story to say his paternal grandmother, Brenda Kitchener, had died. She, in turn, read about her own death and at least one newspaper was reportedly threatened with legal action by relatives on Thursday. Ireland is then understood to have changed his story again, this time claiming that one of his grandfathers was divorced and that it was his elderly partner who had died. That was also exposed as a lie.

Only then did Ireland come clean and say that the real reason he left the team was because his girlfriend had a miscarriage and he wanted to be with her. Nobody knows why Ireland didn’t just tell the truth in the first place—a miscarriage is certainly a good enough reason to take a leave of absence from the team. Perhaps his kindergarten teacher just forgot to teach him that honesty is the best policy.

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ContoTV is a popular Italian hard core porn channel. Fiorentina is one of Serie A’s most storied soccer clubs. Later this month the fate of the two will become intertwined.

A milestone was reached last week in Italy when ContoTV, a hardcore porn channel, outbid other broadcasters to secure the rights to show Fiorentina’s UEFA Cup first-round tie against Groningen on September 20.

Just a publicity stunt? Probably, although ContoTV executives describe it as an attempt to offer their viewers “something different.”

This is great news for all Italian men. Think about it. All their wives now know that an important soccer game is being broadcast on a porn channel. That means for the rest of their lives anytime their wives find charges for a porno channel on a cable bill the men can claim it was just for a soccer game. For all of eternity Italian men now have a legitimate cover for ordering as much porn as they want, whenever they want.

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Stuff that’s good even after it’s been in the pool…

–Jay Cutler and Broncos missed the playoffs last year after they were beat at home by San Francisco on the final Sunday of the season. That was enough to convince Cutler’s teammates to make him a captain. (Denver Post)

–Sidney Crosby: The Ticket Delivery man. (Mondesi’s House)

–The era of minor league baseball in Canada is coming to an end. (Toronto Star)

–David Beckham’s old coach says that Posh Spice ruined his career. (The Times)

–You’re doing a pretty good job of impersonating somebody when they write an obituary about them when you die. (100% Injury Rate)

–Shame on you media. And no, it’s definitely not too soon for this. (Strike Zones and End Zones)

–Nick Saban’s old players mean so much to him that he took five minutes out of his day to sign 50 pieces of paper. (Miami Herald)

–Does the art of Rugby deserve a museum? (More Credible)

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On September 27th the Los Angeles Galaxy will travel to Kansas City to take on the Wizards. In anticipation of David Beckham’s first appearance in the city more than 25,000 tickets have already been sold, an the game surely would have shattered Kansas City’s all time single game attendance record of 30,308. Then Beckham hurt his knee and now Kansas City residents are stuck with a bunch of unwanted soccer tickets.

The Wizards don’t refund tickets, according to Wizards director of communications Rob Thomson.

“There’s always a certain amount of risk that a player will get hurt and not show up,” Thomson said. “It’s really no different than if you were buying a ticket to go see Barry Bonds. He could get hurt and not play. That’s the risk.”

But don’t worry, Thompson wants you to know the game will still be fun.

“We’ve got the band Liverpool, a Beatles cover band, playing in the concourse before the game,” Thomson said, “and we’ll have basically a street festival going on outside Arrowhead with all kinds of vendors. It’s still going to be a party.”

I can’t believe they got a Beatles cover band for Beckam’s first visit. I’m trying to think of something more cliched, but I just can’t do it. Maybe if China hired a John Mellancamp cover band to perform during a visit from the U.S. Basketball Team.

Getting back to the game, the truth is that this could be a good thing for the Wizards. Maybe just a few of those 25,000 people will go to the game, and because they will be free from Beckam’s captivating good looks, they’ll realize that soccer in an extremely entertaining sport to watch live.

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–It’s been an up and down ride for the new Steelers mascot. (Mondesi’s House)

–Soccer can cure a horse’s mental problems. (Seattle Times)

–An elementary school in Colorado is banning tag. (Our Book of Scrap)

–Christiano Ronaldo likes hooker orgies. (100% Injury Rate)

–NHL goal judges are losing their good seats. (Denver Post)

–If you want to know what it might be like for Michael Vick to resume playing a team sport after serving a lengthy prison sentence, keep your eye on British soccer player Lee Hughes. He’s attempting to do it this season. (The Times)

–The 20 athletes most difficult to gaze upon. (Sons of Sam Malone)

–Did you know Pierre Turgeon was Little League World Series star? (TSN)

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There’s leaving a job. And then there’s leaving a job. Colin Linford, the now former head of the Canadian Soccer Association, chose the latter when he resigned earlier this week. On his way out the door Linford blasted the organization and said running it was an experience he wouldn’t with upon his worst enemy. He was just getting started.

“This organization needs disbanding,” the English-born Linford said with finality. “We do not have enough people who can make decisions based on what is good for the (national) association and not what is good for them.”

“I don’t know if `bitter’ is the right word,” Linford said of his state of mind. “Frustration. Betrayed, certainly, by a number of people within the organization.”

His brief tenure has left Linford angry and disillusioned. Despite decades of involvement with soccer as a coach and administrator, he says he’s through with the sport. “Am I being harsh? No,” said Linford. “I’m being a realist.”

It’s nice to see there are people in the sports world who upon being forced to resign still believe in the age old tradition of exposing the corruption and selfishness of their organization. There’s no fun in leaving on good terms anyway.

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This video is from yesterday’s U-21 match between England and Romania. England goaltender Joe Hart dives to block a free kick, but the ball hits the crossbar behind him, bounces off his back, and goes into the goal. The result is the extremely rare goaltender own goal.

The silver lining for Hart is that he managed not to look as terrible as this goalie.

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